Thinking about home

May 22, 2010
Saturday

I need to finish telling you about yesterday. In the morning, after my crazy run, I met up with the Global Volunteer Network (GVN) people over at the orphanage. A crew of about 10-15 of them came to check out the place and also to help with the retaining wall. A bunch of them seem really interested in supporting children in the orphanage, which is really awesome! I’m excited to get home and get rolling with some of these projects. Its hard to get much of anything done here because of the lack of consistent internet access. I have to either go to Hotel Cyvadier (which is quite a nice little hike) or go mooch off internet at my new friends’ house- Gwenn and Nick. Anyway, one of the GVN people came back in the afternoon to color with the younger kids so I spent some time doing that with her too, which was a lot of fun. Its awesome to hear about other people’s perceptions and ideas; helps me to think outside of the box a bit.

On a different note, and I can’t remember if I mentioned this before, but everyone is more and more refusing to speak English to me so they can help me learn Creole. Its been tough but really great. I’m understanding more and more. Even the younger kids are really trying to help me. I will have to try to keep it up and find someone to practice with when I return.

I can’t believe I’m going home in three days! I’m so full of mixed emotions I have no idea how to process it all. Its been tough being down here quite honestly, for so many reasons I can’t even being to untangle right now and should probably save for a more personal venue anyway. For now, suffice it to say I’m kicking myself for not scheduling more “free” time between when I get back to the States and when I start back up my last year of medical school (June 1st). I don’t even know where I have to report to next Tuesday. I keep having to remind myself that God’s mercies are new every morning, every moment actually and that somehow I’ll get through this all. At the same time, the thought of leaving here is also devastating, mostly because I want so badly to figure out to live here and be comfortable and not be derailed by my emotions and fatigue and everything else I’m feeling but can’t necessarily describe. I’m just frustrated. As I said, I really feel caught between two worlds at the moment, maybe more. I wish I could turn my brain off for a little while.

I’m going to close for now because I don’t have much planned for the day, nothing else interesting to write. Tomorrow after church I’m going to go with the older kids living in the orphanage to the beach so I’m pretty stoked about that…